A Much Needed Return

I don't know why I took such a long break from blogging since last year. I guess it's a good sign that my life picked up and I had much better things to do than blog, heh. I started a graphic design program in Seattle and am finishing up my first year. It's been quite a fun journey. I'm learning so much about design and now really appreciating all the thought and effort it takes to create something unique and interesting. I've been settling into the new city too. Poulsbo has such a relaxed pace that it's hard to get stressed out. Having such a serene place to come home to after being in the busy city is so nice. I want to eventually move back to Los Angeles but I will really miss the greenery. Who knows what we'll decide to do in a couple of years.

I will try blogging more regularly again. Don't know if it's age or just forgetfulness, I've been having a hard time remembering everything in my life that's happened. This will be a good way for me to jot down everything. Rereading my previous posts since I began this blog took me on a emotional whirlwind. So much has happened in the past two years. Here's to a brighter and better future!

Adjustments

I'm starting the part of my life where I will have to learn to live on my own again. I've been so used to having Brett in my daily life that I can't imagine how I will be without him. I must stay strong because I know he's doing his best too. So begins my journal where I will talk about how it is to be a submarine wife/fiance. I've been trying to stay busy so I don't feel so lonesome but our house is so big so it just feels emptier. I really can't wait to be back in CA next week so I will have more distractions and even better, be doing real wedding planning. I wish time can fast forward and he'll be back and we can get married! Today has been tough. I started reading old emails we exchanged while he was at OCS and it was so bittersweet. And I also found some emails between my mom and I. That of course just triggered the tears. I lost the one person in my life that loves me the most and now the only other person that loves me is away for an extended period of time. I really need to stay busy and not let emotions get to me. (sigh)

Life As It Is...

Planning for a wedding has made me realize a lot about people in the wedding business. They must be the most convincing liars. Not to speak bad of anyone working in the wedding business, but they really do have to kiss your ass. I have not spoken to one vendor who has not talked me up and made me feel like I am the shit in the first five minutes of our first conversation. Props to them. I don't have it in me to do that, but I can see if the financial incentive was just too good to pass, maybe. =)

It's funny to me that the first real traditional American wedding I will be going to will be my own. I tell people that I feel like a blind person planning a wedding. Yes there are a lot of resources online and what not, but I find myself in a rut sometimes. I start stressing out... am I supposed to do this first or that other thing first? I am grateful for all my friends who I have divulged all my planning details to. Your patience and kindness, I cherish. 

So life "had" been pretty stagnant and depressing a week or so ago. After all my visitors left, I just began becoming more reclusive. I spent four days in a row watching Lost, Seasons 1-4. I know, pretty lame. I don't know why, I totally went on the extreme from being very social when people were over to a total hermit. I'm glad I recognized what was going on this week. I've started my gym regiment again and drinking my morning coffee. The weather here has become much cooler and sadly, very cloudy. I refuse to believe that the cloudy weather will make me depressed. I've been busy with errands this week and planning my trip back to LA. Been making a better effort to chat with friends online and making the occasional phone calls to brothers and friends. Again, I thank all those for listening and caring. =)

New Home

My brother, Sarah, and the baby visited this past 4th of July weekend. The fireworks they sell on the indian reservations here are crazy! We basically blew up $300 worth of sky high fireworks. The boys were going crazy, alcohol and fireworks aren't a good combo. I'm glad everybody had fun though. It was our second time having a barbecue at our house. I'm glad that our house is perfect for entertaining. 

Tonight is the first night I'm spending home alone. Luckily David and Grace will be coming up tomorrow night so I will have company until Friday when Brett gets back. So now I'm officially all moved out of California. No place to call home when I go back to visit. The living room is filled with boxes of stuff that I moved up. It's going to take me a couple days to unpack everything. When I was going through a pile of letters and cards, I found a note my mom had written me on 12/24/07, our last Christmas together. She wrote her thanks to me and her gratitude for me taking care of her. The letter was really sweet. She signed it, the mother that always loves you and she even drew a crooked smiley face. It made me so sad.

So many things are happening these days. We just bought a pool table so that's coming this Friday. I have wedding planning to do. And I can't wait to get some work coming my way and starting school eventually. 2009 has been a good year so far. Road trip from South Carolina to Connecticut. Went to Boston and New York twice. Another road trip from Connecticut to Washington. And our five year anniversary is coming up. July 18. It still feels so fun and exciting to be with Brett. 

Road Trip 2 - Day Six

Missoula, MT to Bainbridge Island, WA (500 mi)

This picture is taken from the balcony at our hotel room in Montana. Today we finally finished our trip and arrived safely in Washington. I drove through rain, snow, and windy mountain roads today. All my energy is drained. We took the ferry to get to Bainbridge Island. It was fun driving our cars on and getting out to relax for the entire 30 minute ride. Tomorrow we begin the exploration of our future home. I'm happy, tired, relieved, and excited.

Road Trip 2 - Day Five

Bismarck, ND to Missoula, MT (760 mi)

We drove for over twelve hours today!!! Brett and I had a little tiff about who could drive further so we drove into the night. It's so nice that the sun didn't set until after 8pm. The drive was the prettiest today, so many snowy mountains and the landscape was just beautiful. I never knew Montana would be so pretty. I felt pretty delirious by the time we got to our hotel room. We stayed at a crummy place in ND last night. I forgot to mention how unsafe both Brett and I felt in ND. At first I thought it was the lack of any minorities that made me feel awkward but I think it's just the environment. Dirt roads and trucker land just doesn't feel inviting. So today we decided to stay at a nicer place and we definitely feel more at home. We should be able to get to Washington by the end of tomorrow. I am so anxious to find a place and settle down. Transient life is not fun.

Road Trip 2 - Day Four

Eau Claire, WI to Bismarck, ND (518 mi)

The drive was easier today.  We ended up in North Dakota and there really isn't much to see here. Dirt roads and manufactured homes are all we see outside our hotel window. Both Brett and I actually feel a bit out of place in this town so we've decided to stay in tonight.